In
life, I believe women are always trying to match up to men. Not because we
believe we are less but because often we are made to appear this way. Therefore,
you can always find us striving to do better. In a male dominated society we
look for Autonomy and seek to achieve it. Autonomy is the right or condition of
self government; basically it is the capacity of a rational individual to make
an informed, un-coerced decision. As you can see this can be a very difficult
thing to do, perhaps not now but back in the 80’s it was more common and more
so in Hispanic culture. However, although we look for independence and strength,
the power of Sexuality also comes in to play. For Women this is important
because they want to feel desired and looked at, many use this to identify
themselves. In Hispanic culture the male is perceived as dominant and strong
whereas the female is supposed to be nurturing and self-sacrificing. To Latinosthe male has to strive to be the manliest he can be. He is “the master of hisdomain.”The women do not disagree because the man is supposed to be in charge.
So how is it that we’re supposed to feel and look desirable but still be
treated as strong and independent?
In
the novel “The House on Mango Street” a girl named Esperanza who from the
beginning is desperate to leave her neighborhood and live in a place of her own.
As she meets certain people around her Neighborhood she doesn’t understand why
they choose to stay when they can leave. However as she grows and matures the
desire to be wanted and looked at by men outweighs her desire to escape and be
on her own. She meets a girl named Marin who says, “What matters, is for the
boys to see us and for us to see them.” Esperanza wants boys to look at her the
way they do Marin.
In the novel Esperanza and her friends come across 3 pairs
of heel shoes. Excited, they wear them and as they walk across the street a boy
on a bike calls out, “Ladies lead me to heaven.” They decide quickly that they
love the shoes and never want to wear anything else again. So by desiring to be
an object for man you are diminishing the simple right to be looked at as
anything else.
As
I said before Sexuality and Autonomy do not mix. Feminists say that theobjectification of women involves the act of disregarding the personal andintellectual abilities and capabilities of a female.
By doing so you are
reducing her worth and any role she will be able to play in society. So if this
happens to women, why is it they choose to objectify themselves? When they wear
revealing clothes and parade around the street it is because they want to be
seen, specifically by men. Some women can say they do this to feel empowered.
They
wear the clothes they do for themselves and no one else. So how do we change
what’s already written in today’s culture. How do we in a sense make ourselves look
physically attractive without being seen as sex objects by men? Feminist Camille Paglia states that, “That
turning people into sex objects is one of the specialties of our species.” In the novel The House on Mango Street Esperanza
learns the hard way that being independent and strong while still being
beautiful and desirable is impossible when she is sexually assaulted. She
wanted to be like the women in movies “beautiful but cruel” however in the
moment of her assault she felt powerless. Esperanza had no control over what
was happening, this is when she realizes that achieving full independence would
be impossible is she pursued any relationship with men in her neighborhood. In
her case it took sexual assault for her to realize that if she ever wanted to
get out of her neighborhood and be able to rely on her own self, she would have
to focus on something else instead of men. Doing both would not work out due to
the fact that most of the men in her neighborhood believed they had full
control over everything and the women were just there to look pretty. One example of this is Esperanza’s friend
Sally who got married very young to an older sales man. She has her own house now just like she wanted
only she is prohibited to leave the house without his permission and isn’t
allowed to have friends over. Sally lost her independence the moment she
married her husband.
There
was an article I read titled How Our Brains Turn Women IntoObjects written by Piercarlo Valdesolo. In this article there were several studies
that basically stated that “objectification might not lead to perceptions of
women as inanimate objects but as different kinds of humans- ones that are
capable of feeling but not thinking.” So
how should we react to this? We are perceived as being able to feel and have emotion
but not so much as being able to think for ourselves. I find that this is very one
sided and offensive to all women in general. How do we change the minds of most
men around? In the day we live in now this isn’t much of a problem anymore due
to the fact that most women are engaging in business and politics. However this
isn’t the case for Hispanic women especially the ones living in poverty ridden
neighborhoods.
Let’s
think about that for a moment. When you think of a woman who is beautiful but
still strong and independent, businesswoman comes to mind. To get to that level in any career you must
have an education . Many of the girls living in poverty stricken neighborhoods don’t
end up making it past High School without being married or pregnant. Back in
the day this was more the case, due to the fact that they believed the only way
to escape was through marriage. My mother was one of those girls who ran off
with her boyfriend, my dad when she was 17. She didn’t get married or pregnant
till her 20’s but received no education after middle school. She told me that before
she had gotten pregnant her husband didn’t want her to study nursing like she
had wanted for so long. My mom had no choice but to agree with this because it
was my father who was supporting her at that time. So you can see for Hispanic
women it is much harder to be sexual without losing your freedom.
Independent Women
Independent Women
To
conclude I do not believe that Sexuality and Autonomy can both be achieved by Latina
women due to the Hispanic culture instilled in us from birth. If woman want to be desired and looked at by
men it will only lead to them being seen as objects. You will get married and lose
your independence and the ability to live by your own rules. Hispanic men are
the rulers of the household and their woman.
Should it be like this? Of course not which is why woman should not
objectify themselves just as men shouldn’t us.
Happy holi 2021
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