Sexuality vs Autonomy


In life, I believe women are always trying to match up to men. Not because we believe we are less but because often we are made to appear this way. Therefore, you can always find us striving to do better. In a male dominated society we look for Autonomy and seek to achieve it. Autonomy is the right or condition of self government; basically it is the capacity of a rational individual to make an informed, un-coerced decision. As you can see this can be a very difficult thing to do, perhaps not now but back in the 80’s it was more common and more so in Hispanic culture. However, although we look for independence and strength, the power of Sexuality also comes in to play. For Women this is important because they want to feel desired and looked at, many use this to identify themselves. In Hispanic culture the male is perceived as dominant and strong whereas the female is supposed to be nurturing and self-sacrificing. To Latinosthe male has to strive to be the manliest he can be. He is “the master of hisdomain.”The women do not disagree because the man is supposed to be in charge. So how is it that we’re supposed to feel and look desirable but still be treated as strong and independent?
In the novel “The House on Mango Street” a girl named Esperanza who from the beginning is desperate to leave her neighborhood and live in a place of her own. As she meets certain people around her Neighborhood she doesn’t understand why they choose to stay when they can leave. However as she grows and matures the desire to be wanted and looked at by men outweighs her desire to escape and be on her own. She meets a girl named Marin who says, “What matters, is for the boys to see us and for us to see them.” Esperanza wants boys to look at her the way they do Marin.
 In the novel Esperanza and her friends come across 3 pairs of heel shoes. Excited, they wear them and as they walk across the street a boy on a bike calls out, “Ladies lead me to heaven.” They decide quickly that they love the shoes and never want to wear anything else again. So by desiring to be an object for man you are diminishing the simple right to be looked at as anything else.

 By doing so you are reducing her worth and any role she will be able to play in society. So if this happens to women, why is it they choose to objectify themselves? When they wear revealing clothes and parade around the street it is because they want to be seen, specifically by men. Some women can say they do this to feel empowered. 

They wear the clothes they do for themselves and no one else. So how do we change what’s already written in today’s culture. How do we in a sense make ourselves look physically attractive without being seen as sex objects by men?  Feminist Camille Paglia states that, “That turning people into sex objects is one of the specialties of our species.”  In the novel The House on Mango Street Esperanza learns the hard way that being independent and strong while still being beautiful and desirable is impossible when she is sexually assaulted. She wanted to be like the women in movies “beautiful but cruel” however in the moment of her assault she felt powerless. Esperanza had no control over what was happening, this is when she realizes that achieving full independence would be impossible is she pursued any relationship with men in her neighborhood. In her case it took sexual assault for her to realize that if she ever wanted to get out of her neighborhood and be able to rely on her own self, she would have to focus on something else instead of men. Doing both would not work out due to the fact that most of the men in her neighborhood believed they had full control over everything and the women were just there to look pretty.  One example of this is Esperanza’s friend Sally who got married very young to an older sales man.  She has her own house now just like she wanted only she is prohibited to leave the house without his permission and isn’t allowed to have friends over. Sally lost her independence the moment she married her husband.
There was an article I read titled How Our Brains Turn Women IntoObjects written by Piercarlo Valdesolo. In this article there were several studies that basically stated that “objectification might not lead to perceptions of women as inanimate objects but as different kinds of humans- ones that are capable of feeling but not thinking.”  So how should we react to this? We are perceived as being able to feel and have emotion but not so much as being able to think for ourselves. I find that this is very one sided and offensive to all women in general. How do we change the minds of most men around? In the day we live in now this isn’t much of a problem anymore due to the fact that most women are engaging in business and politics. However this isn’t the case for Hispanic women especially the ones living in poverty ridden neighborhoods.
Let’s think about that for a moment. When you think of a woman who is beautiful but still strong and independent, businesswoman comes to mind.  To get to that level in any career you must have an education . Many of the girls living in poverty stricken neighborhoods don’t end up making it past High School without being married or pregnant. Back in the day this was more the case, due to the fact that they believed the only way to escape was through marriage. My mother was one of those girls who ran off with her boyfriend, my dad when she was 17. She didn’t get married or pregnant till her 20’s but received no education after middle school. She told me that before she had gotten pregnant her husband didn’t want her to study nursing like she had wanted for so long. My mom had no choice but to agree with this because it was my father who was supporting her at that time. So you can see for Hispanic women it is much harder to be sexual without losing your freedom.
 Independent Women
To conclude I do not believe that Sexuality and Autonomy can both be achieved by Latina women due to the Hispanic culture instilled in us from birth.  If woman want to be desired and looked at by men it will only lead to them being seen as objects. You will get married and lose your independence and the ability to live by your own rules. Hispanic men are the rulers of the household and their woman.  Should it be like this? Of course not which is why woman should not objectify themselves just as men shouldn’t us.

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